Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize