not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
