dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
