why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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