I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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