I cockslap morals
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
birth control should be required to get into college
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
