Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
