its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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