You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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