2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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