Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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