I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
