i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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