I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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