i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm always down for nudity.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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