Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
