babies were throwing up all over the place
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
