the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
