i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
