I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
