my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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