i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't deserve a penis
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
