I must be too annoying 4 u.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
