I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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