were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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