one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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