How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
