she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
