I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
