we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
