im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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