I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
