dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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