And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
