Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
