can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
