There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
