She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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