she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
