I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
