Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
