The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
