I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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