I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
