Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
where am i from again
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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