dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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