great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
