They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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