Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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