Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
