i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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