Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
