I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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