Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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