you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
