Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
