I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize