So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Boobs speak an international language.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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