maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
