that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize