Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You made out with two different species that night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
