I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
