made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize