"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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