STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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