I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
