Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
