you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
