You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
